Finn Harald Røed – blog 2019-2020

November 9, 2020
I'm working on recording a new song called "The end of love". I'm hoping it will become my next single, accompanied by a music video built around some rather dramatic scenes. It seems like a really long way to a new album, which will be my tenth. However, I actually do have ideas and partly recorded songs for at least half an album, but I know from experience that the amount of work it takes to get it all done is tremendously vast and exhausting. Sometimes I ask myself why I even bother. Having said that, I have felt that my journey has not yet come to it's end, and that I will release another album in the style I identify with the most: Some kind of mix between the darker synthpop of the 80s and alternative rock.

October 12, 2020
I'm getting ready to start recording new songs. Next up is (once again) songs within the synthpop/synthrock genre, which actually brings me back to what I was working on before I started writing and recording piano based ballads for "The courage to believe" album a couple of years ago. My first goal is most likely a single with an accompanying music video, which both will be in a totally different style and mood than the songs on my latest album release.

October 8, 2020
I just bought a new synthesizer, the Behringer Poly D, which is a paraphonic Minimoog clone. I must admit I never thought I would own a Behringer synthesizer, since the company always has had this "budget" or "cheap" image. However, I simply have to say that I am impressed by their synthesizers from the past couple of years, even though basically all of them are clones of some of the greatest of the old synths from the 70s and 80s. I started changing my mind when I saw numerous demos of their Model D about a year ago, and then demos of the Poly D this year. Having played it for a couple of days, I think this will be one of my favorite synthesizers. It's hard to explain, but I kind of like the fact that you can't load or save any sort of presets, which means you really have to know what you are doing to create and recreate the sounds you want. The sound in itself is just awesome, especially with the Juno like chorus effect. Also, when run through a delay and reverb unit, the raw "minimoog sound" of the Poly D is just awesome.

July 26, 2020
The feeling of having turned 50 can be a real challenge. It can be tough to realize that you are no longer young in any sense of the word, and that the young consider you to be, well... rather old. When thinking back I remember some of my elderly teachers. I was 10, and I honestly thought my English teacher was around 70. Only later I found out he was in his 40s at the time, and that he didn't really look any older than his real age either. In fact, like most children I thought of people between 40 and 50 as quite old, putting more or less all of them in that same box of elderly people. Maybe not as old as the ancient ones above 70, but still old. I understand that children and young teenagers may put me in that same box now. What an abstract feeling it is to witness your own life passing by, especially when you've been through some changes leaving you with no idea what the future brings anymore.

Realizing that the young now put you in the box of the elderly of course makes you feel older than you really are. Lately I've tended to unwillingly categorize myself into that same age box, which is not particularly uplifting, forward-looking or motivating at all. However – and now to my point – the other day while driving my car I came to think about that I most likely have about 30+ years left to live. I started reflecting upon the suprising fact that 30 years is quite a long time. I pondered over that 30 years ago I was only 21, way back in 1990. Over the years since then I finished my education, was married for 20 years, almost remarried, was a pastor for two years, owned four homes and a cabin, had three sons, released 9 albums and three books, started and ran a web/software company, moved about 10 times across Norway and to Sweden, owned eight dogs and experienced a whole lot of other things, good and bad, in joy and sorrow.

While reflecting upon all this, I had to admit that 30 years is a heck of a long time, and that my life for sure is not over by far. Maybe I have always considered life beyond 50 as "close to the end", I don't know. If that is so, I am now at least starting to consider that I was wrong. As long as I let it happen and have an open mind, I will still get to experience and do things that are meaningful and rewarding. The future experiences will be different than before, and some of the things that were possible when I was young will no longer be possible as I get older, and the other way around. Still, there are lots and lots of things that remain to be seen and done, no matter what and under what circumstances.

I just wanted to make a note of this. No one's life is over until it's over, no matter what, when or how. There is always more to experience, more to learn. Come rain, come shine.

July 2, 2020
My ninth album, The Courage to Believe, is finally released! I feel exhausted, relieved and free at the same time. Most of all I feel grateful. Had it not been for this album, the legacy I'll leave behind would be so different, so insufficient, as if loads of keys and pieces in my life's puzzle were missing. Besides from spreading the news on social media, via mailinglists etc., I will now lean back and acknowledge that it is out of my hands whether any of the songs will touch anyone's heart, and whether others will share them to make that happen. I feel peace with thinking my mission is finally completed. I did it. I finished my course.

June 30, 2020
I have re-opened my music page on Facebook, and uploaded the latest videos related to the new album release. The reason for this is to make sharing of the videos on Facebook more easy, and also to reach a greater amount of people than just by referring to my YouTube channel. The Facebook page is located at https://www.facebook.com/FinnHaraldRoed.music.

June 26, 2020
An album trailer for "The Courage to Believe" is now on YouTube. My upcoming album will be released by the end of June. The trailer includes previews of all the 12 songs, and gives a very clear impression of the album's style, mood and message. I hope this video will be a useful tool for people to get an impression of the songs, and a door opener to the complete album! :-)

June 19, 2020
A music video for A simple song is now out on YouTube! The lyrics were the main reason for choosing this song. I feel the message of the words stands out: My dream of writing a song with the power to make the whole world sing along, a song of heavenly praise. This is the third video for songs on the upcoming album, in addition to "Choirs of angels" and "Beautiful world". I am considering making and releasing a fourth and final video after the album release.

May 28, 2020
My brand new music video Beautiful world is now on YouTube! All the footage was filmed in an empty church building in Skien (Norway) late March, in the middle of the coronavirus lockdown, with shots from a rather huge number of different settings and angles. The song is taken from my upcoming album, and is a love song of appreciation to God.

May 4, 2020
Yes, I did think all the songs for the new album were done, but it turned out there was still one more waiting in line to be included. ;-) Today I wrote "A simple song" for the same reason as I wrote "Beautiful world" in March. I knew it was missing from the album. I simply sat down and started playing and singing, and then wrote down the lyrics I was served together with the melody. It starts out like this:

I wish I could write a simple song
with simple words and a simple melody
then all day long, I'd sing my little song

All the major pieces of the song felt so obvious and easy to deal with, like an easy-to-assemble flat pack. I guess I should be used to that feeling by now, but it keeps surprising me, bringing the greatest feeling of joy and gratitude.

April 10, 2020
All the footage for a new music video was done on March 24 and March 25 in an empty Church building in Skien, Norway. The video is for one of the songs ("Beautiful world") on my upcoming album, and is now being edited for release in a few weeks. My youngest son, Benjamin, was the camera operator. In the middle of the corona crisis no churches in Norway are open. No Sunday meetings, and no activities the rest of the week. In other words, we pretty much had the building for ourselves for two days in a row. Seen from an artistic point of view, I found this very fitting for the song's lyrics and message.

So, the music video's venue – the church hall – is empty, and it's a rough and strange time of social distancing for most people. Still, isn't the world a beautiful world? And isn't it quieter and more peaceful than for a long time? Isn't it all of a sudden silent enough to actually hear, ponder on and feel things we don't normally have time, peace or energy to reflect on or even notice. To me, this was the perfect setting for the music video, combining the song's message with the mood of the historic pandemic in our time.

March 27, 2020
The ongoing coronavirus situation makes everyday life very much different from before. Isolation to avoid or reduce the virus from spreading causes companies to go bankrupt, and the stock market is in full confusion. Schools are closed, and there are no sports or cultural events. The streets in the city are more or less empty.

In the middle of all this, on Sunday March 22 I made a short live recording of the traditional hymn I've always liked – "Be still, my soul". Even though the original german lyrics were written way back in 1752, then translated into English in 1855, and eventually combined with a melody written by Jean Sibelius in Finland in 1899, I find the mood and feel of the result to be very timeless. My little "live at home" music video for Be still, my soul was released today on YouTube, with me playing the acoustic guitar and singing. The video also includes some introductory comments about the song and some reflections on the link between the song's lyrics on comfort and peace in a troubled world.

I haven't done a live performance for a couple of years, and then a couple of years before that. This feels quite close to the experience, though. It's quite different having to play and sing complete songs, and working in the studio, back and forth with the details throughout the song. For a long time I've been thinking about starting streaming or publishing recorded / directed live performances from my studio, which this new video may be the first step towards.

February 9, 2020
The local, southern Norway newspaper Fritidsnytt has published an extensive interview with me, both in the printed version and on their website. With three full pages and three photos the article covers the December release of my Christmas song Choirs of Angels, information about the upcoming album, faith, and various info about my music background and future plans.

February 8, 2020
Nothing in life is static. It seems like nothing will stay the same for a longer period of time, no matter how hard we try for it to happen. The circumstances, conditions and terms are changing constantly. Some of the time this is just want we want. If things aren't working out so well, we long for change to the better.

However, sometimes we long back to how things were, which brings us to the following unpleasant truth: Nothing will ever be the same again. Nothing will be just like it used to be. The future may include some familiar building blocks, but every change introduces something new, making the new building different from what you have seen before. Life doesn't go in circles. We can never go back to how things were, back to that one perfect moment, or back to how things were when life was so much better. Why? Because the circumstances, conditions and terms have changed. People have changed. Things have happened in between that hadn't happened before. Even you have changed, though you may not be fully aware of it. But you have.

On the other hand, if you have settled down and feel comfortable and happy about how things are, change isn't the first thing you are looking for. You may prefer to freeze time, to make a snapshot of how things are right now and just live in that picture for as long as you want. However, change is unavoidable. You can't freeze time, and you can't force other living beings to stay the same forever.

We fall in love, and some fall out of love. Promises are made, and some are broken. Your kids grow up and move out. Someone dies. Someone changes their meanings and stands. Some lose their faith, and some gain or regain faith. Your wife leaves you. You lose your job. You move to a new home. A close friend betrays your trust. You get sick. And the list goes on and on. Generally, other people's choices and actions unavoidably affect you and your present and future plans. Sometimes it also affects your perception of the past. Besides, you are just like other people. You change, too. You make choices that affect both others and yourself. Sometimes people close to you change because of you. It goes both ways, and how things turn out may be hard or even impossible to predict.

While change can be an accelerator for personal growth and exiting opportunities, it can also be devastating and permanent destroyer of what used to bring meaning and joy to your life, never to return in the shape you are longing for.

So then what? How can we handle changes that went off in a different direction than what we were hoping for? I guess the answer is this: "Accept and adapt." Accept that the change found place, and that there's a new chapter of life in front of you. Then make the best of it. Adapt to the change, to your new playground – and build from there. A change is often a path leading us from one period of life to another. The change itself is not the destination. Nothing is static. Seek new opportunities, because change is just that – the bringer of second chances and new opportunities worth experiencing and embracing, and maybe, just maybe, the best is yet to come. No one knows what tomorrow or next year will bring when they choose to move one. Life is a journey through time, and time never stands still.

January 12, 2020
I spent the entire yesterday evening on photo shooting, partly for the new album, both portraits and pictures from the studio. I find every new release to be a good opportunity to document the event with new photos. Having serious regrets about not taking the time for photo sessions while I was doing music full time in my twenties, I have tried to learn from my mistakes and decided to do a better job documenting my adult life as a musician.

December 31, 2019
I have stayed up two nights in a row, finishing as much as I can of the recordings for the new ballad album. Also, I have written and finished recording a completely new song called "Long way to go". On this particular song the piano sound come from NI's Una Corda, instead of the grand piano I use on the other songs. This gives the song a somehow dreamy and melancholy presence that I found fitting for it's lyrics and mood.

Also, earlier this December, I wrote another song called "Lead by the Light". Both these brand new songs are rather sad. While the lyrics and mood for the new album in general is colored by gratefulness, faith, hope and optimism, the very consequence of beliving in the light, includes admitting the existence of the dark. There is an opposition in all things. Happiness and sorrow. Mercy and rightousness. Success and failure. Life and death. Love and hate. Good and evil. But all of these are all neccessary and unavoidable ingredients of our existence. How could we appreciate what is good, if we did not know about or ever had felt the opposite alternative?

Having lived for a while, I am the first to acknowledge that life is not a bed of roses. It comes with a lot of warnings and errors. And so do we, each and single one of us. It is only right that an honest album like the one I am working on should reflect that we are not really in control. Some things don't turn out the way we hoped, simply because I, you or someone else fail and make mistakes. Or, because we live in a mortal world, subjected to whatever course nature takes. Or, simply because some things were not meant to be.

A few more words about the song writing process: I sometimes find myself extremely picky and detail oriented, sometimes down to a note by note level. It is hard to decide where to draw the line, and to see at which point further adjustments are not improvements, but rather polishing away the human touch. When things tend to be too perfect, it also tends to lose some of it's spontanious vibrance. I tend to be very hard on myself when working with the lead vocals, but sometimes also with the arrangements. Should I play this note a little lighter, stronger, softer, louder? Should I sing this word or letter with more tone, closer to the mic, more aggressive, more tender? The list goes on forever.

One should think that the final result would be perfection, but nothing in this world is perfect, even though it can be really hard to accept. As always, no matter what I do, I eventually have to say enough is enough, and admit that I am not able to make this song any better. At least not for now. When finally released, the songs are what they are, my creations coming from A LOT of work in the studio, even if the main song ideas often come to me for free with little effort, and sometimes also major parts the lyrics.

Yet another year is coming to an end. It has been a year of huge contrasts. Am I ready for 2020? Well, at least the album is, and right now that is my main focus, lead by the inspiration I have received for the very purpose of it's release.