Finn Harald Røed - blog archive 2004

December 12, 2004
As a parallell to things becoming clearer, I realize that the truth about things isn't always a blessing, meaning, if you don't have the strength to accept things the way they are, or to carry the burden of clairvoyance, you would be better off staying an ignorant person with simple black and white solutions.

November 10, 2004
Now that I'm in my late thirties, new thoughts keep popping up in my head. Guess I still have time to deal with the first few decades of my life before turning 40, but still, it really does feel strange and unfamiliar to be half way there. Half way on the journey towards the most common piece of event for all life forms; death the way we know it. However, I'm not really afraid of dying, it's just so hard to let go of this life, just when I start getting used to it. You spend years and years trying to get a grip on things, and then when you finally think you're in control, it's over. What an ironic thing. Well, maybe that's exactly what it's all about...

Lately I have had so many flashbacks, like experiences from my childhood and youth that have come back to me, as very much alive memories. I've been thinking about what it would have been like to meet that younger version of myself. What would I have said to him? What would I have told him that could have influenced some of the choices he made, or didn't make. It is a most strange feeling to think like this.

Now that I'm, statistically speaking, halfway done with my life, it seems more and more important to me to accept the past and deal with whatever things and actions I never have made peace with. It is such a heavy burden to carry the weight of the past, such a destructive and limiting force. So, I am about to begin that search for looking up and finding myself again, that person I once was as a child, in order to find out what could have been done differently, to re-live it all over again, and bring to rest some unsolved matters that need to be left behind before I can start my second and last 50% of mortal living.

Just some thoughs there on a Wednesday night, from a 36 year old. Man, this might just be the beginning of the 40-year's crisis. You never know... but these feelings sure feel both neccessary and important to deal with. It's like a path of stepstones laying in front of me. I need to step on them to get over to the other side in one piece. I'll get back on this matter as soon as I understand more about what I'm thinking.

October 20, 2004
The Summer is definitely over. Still don't have time for music, though. It's quite frustrating, but life is all a matter of priorities. Right now, home and family takes it all...

August 13, 2004
Summertime... not much music going on right now, but when the Winter arrives, I'll hopefully find both time and inspiration to continue to work in the studio. The Internet release of the upcoming album will definitely happen. It's all just a matter of when I'm satisfied with - and actually done with - the recordings.

July 18, 2004
I've been making digital copies of analog recordings from the early 90's lately, and will upload MP3-files to the webserver of several of my older songs in the near future. Mostly for historic documentation, really... :-)

July 11, 2004
We're in Sweden. After 10 hours by car and boat. Just logged on to add a few thougths about my music. Saw an interview with David Bowie on a TV-show the other day. He explained how he had tried to write poems, but he always found them incomplete without music. I kind of related to that. Even though I've written many stand alone texts during the years, I find some of my song lyrics to be my best "poems".

June 28, 2004
Some say that old songs that never made it to an album in the past, probably simply weren't good enough. For most of them, that may be so. However, lately I have started singing on some songs that I wrote at least 10-12 years ago, only they sound a bit different in my head then the originals - kind of more mature and completed. I especially have one song, "Dancing with stilettos", in mind. I may re-record that one in a 2004-version, just to see if it qualifies for the planned Internet-release... :-)

June 19, 2004
Have been planning on doing a full MP3-album Internet-release for about a year now. 12-15 songs are more or less done, most of them with just some arrangement and recording issues left to work out. Need to solve these issues in such a way that I'll be pleased with the songs not just at the moment, but also when I listen to them in a couple of years from now. The album will be a continuance of my thoughts and musical style found in previous relased tracks like "Wish you were my hero" and "The world is changing". The main message will fit in with this websites title and domain name, with the following lines of text:
I rewind myself, discovering new ground. I replace myself, with another way out" (text excerpts from one of the new songs on the upcoming album, continuing the thought, message and idea behind the track "The world is changing" from 1996).

June 12, 2004
Added flag icons to the front page, linking to short presentations of the website in French, Spanish, Norwegian, Russian and German.

June 10, 2004
Just finished reading a book about a woman who died after having been sick for several weeks. She stayed dead for at least 30 minutes, but then woke up again. The doctors had no explanation, and were rather shocked about what happened. While she was away, she got a taste of the afterlife and a glimpse of an active, harmonic and exiting life on the other side. After returning, her heart and spirit were changed by what she had seen and felt by the gates of heaven. She gained a perfect knowledge of the existence of a loving God, her creator. She also got to look down on the earth and it's inhabitants the way God sees us, which resulted in a lifelong love and understanding towards people she had disliked previous to the experience. I found the book to be very inspiring, honest and uplifting.

June 8, 2004
So why didn't they all see the reason, or lack of reason, behind the war in Iraq? And now that it all seems even so much clearer, will we just forget the thousands and thousands of dead fathers, sons, women and children? And was it worth the death of about a thousand young Americans? How was it ever possible to betray a modern democratic nation to actually believe that Iraq was a threat to the US, or for that matter, to the UK? It all seems pretty scary to think of that propaganda still can twist people's minds, in principle using the same methods as in Europe about 60 years ago...

June 6, 2004
The power supply on the studio-computer broke down the other day, but is now replaced and everything is up and running. Oh well, except there is no MIDI-input at all. Hmm... needs to be fixed. After the shock of being unable to turn on the PC, at least I felt forced to finally back up all the Cubase-files to the neccessary number of CDs. :-)

June 5, 2004
From now on, I will be trying to feed this page with new stuff regularly. Periodically, I will have a lot on my mind, other times not. If I have any special thoughts that I find worth sharing, I'll try to make a note of them here. Of course, I'll mainly use this page for information and news about my music, but other ideas passing by might also show up.